Spiel It Out...

Since QA peeps insist o lowering AHT's, Ive beeen seeking ways and workarounds... If only I could find alternatives in order not to continue troubleshooting their damn messed up systems, and just woo them away or maybe force them to release the call...

I wonder if these spiels will work....

Spiel #1:

Thank you for calling _________, this is _____. You messed up your computer, I'll screw it up even more... Now... Would you still like me to help you?

Spiel #2:

Thank you for calling _________, this is_____. Have a great day ahead of you... (release...)

Spiel #3:

Thank you for caling _________, this is _____. May I please have your credit card number so that I can bill you after this call?

Spiel #4:

Thank you for calling _________, porn support... (Unless the customer is perverted, the call will be released...)

Spiel #5:

Thank you for calling __________, this is _____. How may I help you today? (Hit he release button while speaking... just don't get caught.)

Spiel #6:

Thank you for calling __________, this is ______. How can I help you today? (Key in the transfer codes while the customer is venting out their concerns... hehehe... They'll never know what hit them.)

Spiel #7:

Thank you for calling ___________, this is ______. How can I help you? (And after customer airs out their concern...) Ok. I see that everything is messed up, you may have to buy a new system. Please hold while I transfer you to our sales deparment. (Now, you have to be quick on this and don't let the customer interrupt to achieve the full effect.)

If you guys got any more suggestions, yell 'em out... I'm going to need it...